If that was your dad, he is hot
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This baby is an asshole
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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