You made me cry and you don't even care
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
