false alarm. still invincible.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm having to shit out rocks
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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