Sponge bath it is.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
