Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
jump out the window naked night went bad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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