Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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