Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
