I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
