Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
