no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
