I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
