i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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