So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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