She's JV to your varsity
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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