It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
