If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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