She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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