I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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