do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
