i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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