dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize