her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
