Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
