YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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