At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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