I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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