You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
