No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
