I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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