Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
