I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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