OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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