I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
