He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
