At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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