Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
