So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
