I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
