i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm at about main and main street
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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