I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
