cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
