How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
