When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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