I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
