just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
