i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
