Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
