Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
