Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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