nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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