Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
