We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
