I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
