definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
