laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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