I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
