Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Someone signed my nipple.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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