Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
