It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize