I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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