I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
