Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
